The Toilet Report: Camping Edition

You win some, you lose some—but a good toilet can really make your day. Welcome to The Toilet Report. Today’s topic is the same as always: toilets.

You sit down all the time, but are you sitting pretty on your throne? Today, we’re reviewing camping toilets so you can make an informed decision for your next outdoor adventure. But before we get to the great outdoors, let’s talk about indoors. Specifically, the inside of your bathroom.

Carpeted Bathrooms: The Controversy

Some folks have carpeted bathrooms. Now, I know what you’re thinking—that’s gross. But hold up, don’t judge a book by its cover. Sure, carpet in a bathroom can be a logistical nightmare, but if you time it right, your feet will be warm and cozy.

Now, I’m not saying it’s perfect. Personally, I miss the target half the time, so this little experiment could end up smelling like an RV dump station. Pro tip: clean your bathroom carpet with degreaser—the more toxic, the better. You might faint while sitting pretty, but hey, some people (me) like taking naps in the bathroom anyway.

Camping Toilets: Take Your Throne Outside

Let’s talk about camping toilets. Sure, you could dig a hole on your next trip, but holes are for graves, and I’m not about treating my waste like it’s dead. At least get yourself a bucket—or better yet, upgrade with one of these:

Stansport Portable Toilet

Click here to check it out.

This one’s way more fun than accidentally drinking your own pee. It’s lightweight and ridiculously easy to carry around. The only issue I’ve ever had is getting, uh, fecal matter all over myself—but that might just be a me thing. If you’ve had the same problem or you’re a fan of this little throne, drop us a comment.

Pro tip: Want to save on your water bill? Use this bad boy at home. I recommend keeping it in the kitchen so you can eat while you sit.

Ozark Trail Portable 14.5in Folding Camp Toilet

Grab yours here.

I’m gonna level with you: I have no idea how to use this thing. Every time I try, my waste ends up all over the floor, and I immediately regret trying it out in my living room. Oh, and in case you were wondering, it does melt when you hit it with a blowtorch—so yeah, it’s plastic. If you figure it out, leave a comment (and maybe send me some gluten-free candy).

Reliance Luggable Loo Portable Toilet

Check it out here.

Finally, we’ve got the Luggable Loo—a bucket with a toilet seat. Nothing screams class quite like this thing. Cleaning the bucket is a chore, and using it to haul water afterward? Let’s just say I wouldn’t recommend it unless you love dysentery. Still, if you’ve got thoughts, leave a wet comment.

Until Next Time

That’s it for today’s Toilet Report. Don’t sit too long, or your legs will fall asleep. Catch you next time!