A toilet isn’t just a place to sit and get rid of stuff

A toilet isn’t just a place to sit and get rid of stuff—it’s a place to let go. A place to meditate, to forget about your day and your problems. A toilet is a metaphor for life. I’m not sure exactly what the metaphor is, but I’m sure there is one. Comment if you’ve figured it out.

Since I live in my bathroom, I use my toilet for many things. It’s my well to fetch water from. With the top down, it’s my dining room table. I keep a goldfish in it, and my cat drinks out of it—and sometimes fishes out of it, so I end up buying a lot of goldfish. I pray to my toilet, so my bathroom is kind of like a church. I bathe in it to save water, and with my laptop on top, it becomes a home theater. My bathroom is my home, my sanctuary, and my toilet? My god.

If you read this, thank you for wasting a minute or two. And I’m sorry.